2008 Democratic National Convention

[nyffman]

Agenda:
7:00 PM - Opening flag burning

7:15 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to the United Nations.

7:20 PM - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

7:25 PM - Non-religious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton

7:45 PM - Ceremonial tree hugging

7:55 PM - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:00 PM - "How I Invented the Internet" by Al Gore

8:15 PM - Gay Wedding Planning by Barney Frank (one
of the great pioneers)

8:35 PM - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

8:40 PM - "Our Troops are War Criminals" by John Kerry

9.00 PM - Memorial service for Saddam and his sons by
Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 PM - "Answering Machine Etiquette" by Alec Baldwin

11:00 PM - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:05 PM - Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney
transplant fund by Barbra Streisand after she sings
"Let's stop the drift to the Right"

11:15 PM - "Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo
Bay" by Sean Penn

11:30 PM - "Oval Office Affairs" by William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 PM - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

11:50 PM - "How George Bush brought down the World
Trade Towers " by Howard Dean

12:15 am - "Truth in Broadcasting Award" presented to
Dan Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

12:30 am - Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad;
"Brothers & Sisters in the Struggle"

12:45 am - Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi

1:00 am - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:05 am - Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton

1:30 am - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

1:35 am - Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive
Hillary home.

[Aceq2jot]

On a serious note i would advise avoiding St Paul that weekend as there will be a 2 mile no vehicle zone around the excel center and the protesters are planning on blocking bridges and such. It will be such a fun time

[nyffman]

On a serious note i would advise avoiding St Paul that weekend as there will be a 2 mile no vehicle zone around the excel center and the protesters are planning on blocking bridges and such. It will be such a fun time

You're probably right, but that's the Republican convention

[hammAR]

11:50 PM - "How George Bush brought down the World
Trade Towers " by Howard Dean

Sorry, but isn't that Oliver Stone..........

[chunkstyle]

Word on the street here in Uptown, is that local professional dominatrixes are gearing up for the GOP-con. Conservatives apparently like to be tied up and flogged... Also gearing up are local gay bars. Lots more wide stances are expected.

[jaysong]

Word on the street here in Uptown, is that local professional dominatrixes are gearing up for the GOP-con. Conservatives apparently like to be tied up and flogged... Also gearing up are local gay bars. Lots more wide stances are expected.

Use names of current people in power to make it more funny. See first post.

[nyffman]

Word on the street here in Uptown, is that local professional dominatrixes are gearing up for the GOP-con. Conservatives apparently like to be tied up and flogged... Also gearing up are local gay bars. Lots more wide stances are expected.

Use names of current people in power to make it more funny. See first post.

And believable. Good humor has an element of truth in order to be funny.

Conservatives apparently like to be tied up and flogged... Also gearing up are local gay bars.

is pretty generic, and probably an equal opportunity condition(can you say "Barney Frank"?). "Wide stances" aproaches funny.

[Aceq2jot]

On a serious note i would advise avoiding St Paul that weekend as there will be a 2 mile no vehicle zone around the excel center and the protesters are planning on blocking bridges and such. It will be such a fun time

You're probably right, but that's the Republican convention

The State Patrol has been put in control of the security preparations, and the captain in charge is working out of our office. Real nice chaps tells us a lot about what is going on and what we can expect our role to be. I believe for that month i shall be busier than a one legged amn in a arse kicking competition.