I have everything.....now what ???

[markandco]

First off thank you all for hours of informational reading (and some humor too). I have been reading for some time and now everything is coming full circle.

It took me about 6 months before I could get myself to the sheriff's office and file for my carry permit. After taking the class I needed to do some soul searching because what I thought it meant to "carry" and the enlightenment I was given in class (Paul and old dude straightened my thoughts) was much different. I have come to terms and everything was submitted a month ago.

The permit showed up two days ago. I went out and purchased a carry pistol to add to the collection. I found a great belt and holster. Last, but not least, is the ammo I am going to purchase tomorrow. My questions is now what? How did you all feel the first time you had a gun on your hip in public? Where did you go first? Was it a part time thing or a fulltime commitment? I guess I am a bit freaked out about the first time I head out.

To make it more difficult my wife kinda went along with this when it was class and permit time. She is getting freaked out about me carrying now that the equipment and permit are all together. She is not afraid of me with a gun (have had them most of my life) but the concept as a whole. I am relaxing her a bit but she has many doubts.

Any advice / support would be appriciated.

Mark

[1911fan]

FIRST get some ammo to carry and make sure the gun will work with it. Also get some cheaper (hard to call anything at 15 a box and more cheap) ammo for practice. get some practice time under your belt. you need to feel 100% comfy with the gun,

If you are asking about carry ammo, I would find something name brand in a JHP (jacketed hollow point) and that comes in a box of 50. Streichers has quite a bit of stuff in now for the big three, but not a lot in other cartridges. (9, 40 and 45)

Expect to pay about 19 for good 9 ammo up to 27 or so for good 45 ammo in a box of 50.


I carried for a long time before the current law went into effect (legally) and I found at first it was like I had a sign on me saying Carrying a Gun, but it was just me, no one else noticed. I had carried around the farm and around the woods so I was pretty comfortable with the gun anyway, but its one of those things.

[lenny7]

My questions is now what? How did you all feel the first time you had a gun on your hip in public? Where did you go first? Was it a part time thing or a fulltime commitment? I guess I am a bit freaked out about the first time I head out.

Hey markandco, welcome to the forum!

You remind me of myself way back about ...oh.....3 or 4 months ago.

It was a pretty weird feeling that first time. I screwed up big time though. I went to Menards for my first carry experience and found out later I should have gone to Walmart. Still, I managed.

Joking aside, it IS an awesome responsibility and understandable that when new to it, it can be a bit overwhelming. As soon as I got my permit in the mail, I headed to Menards and another local store. I swear everyone was looking at me and I was bracing for the sound of sirens, but it never happened of course. I also carried for about a month withOUT a round in the chamber, which felt better at the time. Now I carry with one chambered. I just had to work up to a comfort level with it.

Whether it's a part time or full time thing is completely up to you. If you carry 50% of the time then there's a 50% chance that you'll have it if you need it (and a 50% chance that you won't, unfortunately). I can't carry at work, so if I know I'm going straight to work, then straight home afterwards, I might not carry for the commute. Do what works for you. You don't have to be hard core about it right away, or ever for that matter. But the more you carry, the more you'll be comfortable with it, then it will just be a part of you.

To make it more difficult my wife kinda went along with this when it was class and permit time. She is getting freaked out about me carrying now that the equipment and permit are all together. She is not afraid of me with a gun (have had them most of my life) but the concept as a whole. I am relaxing her a bit but she has many doubts.

That is very close to what my situation was, except I didn't tell my wife I was going to carry training, I just said it was firearms training. I had mentioned a couple times that I wanted to get my permit, so she wasn't completely surprised.

What helped me was point to all the cases in the news of multiple murders and a massacre or two that happened to happen soon after I got my permit. I simply explained to her that the reason I got the permit was not for me, but for her and the kids. I'll do anything I have to protect them. She still didnt' completely by into it, but it started her on her way to getting it.

Then some here suggested just going on about your business carrying for a month or so without bringing it up, and then casually pointing out how often you've been carrying, and where, and how it had no impact on her or her enjoyment of whatever it was you did. That worked well for me. Basically you're point out that there has been no negative to it.

My wife's still not 100% comfortable with it, and I suspect that it would take quite a while for that to happen, if ever, but she's accepting of it now. I have mentioned a couple times that I'd like her to shoot with me more, and to get her permit, but you can't push that.

So I'd suggest not making a big deal out of it. Be discrete around the house when arming and disarming, show her you take it seriously and are handling it responsibly. I used to get really pissed off at other drivers but carrying has made me keep calm and mild mannered. She's noticed that and commented on the positive change. I explained to her that it was due to my carry training.

Yeah, keep it cool with her. The worst thing you can do is argue about it and shove it in her face. It's obvious from your post that your a conscientious guy that takes this seriously, so you'll do fine.

[JoeH]

Mark-

You say that you are a little freaked out. Maybe your wife can sense that, making her a little nervous.

Just holster up, head out, and get it over with. You'll feel like you are wearing a sandwich board that reads GUN. Don't sweat it. With minimal concealment, no one will notice anything. You'll be nervous. You'll keep checking your gun even though you know its there and its secure.

As for your wife, don't make a big deal out of carrying. My wife and I would run all over town running errands. We'd go out for dinner. You know, typical Saturday stuff. In the evening I'd take my concealment shirt off and she'd say "Were you carrying that all day?!" I was comfortable with it so she was too.

The transformation was complete when one day while I was carrying openly in our home she said, "You know, that's kind of hot."

As posted, practice with your carry gun and make sure that your carry ammo will function in that gun.

Learn how to properly and safely draw from a holster with concealment. You can learn from a book, video, or class.

As for a full-time commitment, I subscribe to "always carry, never tell." In actuality, I carry part-time. There are some times when I just don't want to carry and I'm OK with that.

Congratulations on being able to exercise your right!

[Widge]

Deleted double post.

[Widge]

Traditionally, your first trip to christen your carry permit should be to Wal-Mart to buy some range ammo. Get that out of the way and you'll notice how 99.9% of the people you see in a busy area, don't even look at you, much less scan you to see if you are carrying. Relax, and resist the urge to give the gun a 'confidence nudge' every five minutes (to make sure it isn't sticking out or fallen off somewhere) and you'll quickly become accustomed to it.

Welcome to the club.

[Pinnacle]

Go take an additional class somewhere from someone that is qualified to teach it.

Practice Practice Practice

Be cool


You are not being paranoid - everyone will know you are carrying

Just kidding.

[nyffman]

Pinnacle is right. Read what he said again if you need to. I had a similar experience with my gf. She tolerated my obsession with firearms. She, however was uncomfortable with me carrying as we left the house to attend a play in Mpls. That is, untill we had to walk through some areas that made her uncomfortable on the way back to our car. Since then, she has had a higher level of understanding. Oh, I don't recall anyone welcoming you to the forum. Good to see you found us. You may be interested in attending one of the breakfasts held monthly. Also, starting in April, the steel shoots start up again.

[justaguy]

Welcome. You will find yourself wasting a lot of time here. You will also find a lot of ways to spend money here.

Mark have confidence in yourself and know you are legal. I don't understand why people have this concept of everyone will know or why they care. I'm legal and if people have a problem they are free to complain. But that wont change the fact that I'm legal. If you can talk with people you should be able to handle any situation that comes up. Be it cop or someone that confronts you. I have never had anyone notice and a lot of my friends ask me if I have my gun. So apperantly even if your looking for a gun it hard to tell. Do your part to inform and if that doesn't work pull your gun an start yelling "I have a permit." Or just walk away and do your thing. Both of you just need to do it and you will see it is nothing. I don't notice that I have a gun. I notice if I don't have a gun.

[Stradawhovious]

I would recommend a vehicle safe. I purchased one for around 30 dollars at the local gun store, and use it every day because my workplace is posted, and I rather enjoy being employed. There are times when it MAY (and I stress may,) be inappropriate to carry, and this will help avoid the "smash and grab" from your car.
Just my .02


P.S. my better half was nervous at first as well, but now doesn't even realize when I carry. I carry fairly large firearms and I have never been "made". The first week however, I was a bit nervous too.

[TC95GT]

Congratulations.

A lot of good advice by everyone. This may sound rather simple but one thing I did when I first started carrying was to keep reminding myself that I have a permit and I am doing nothing illegal or wrong.

[BRIT_in_the_weeds]

Welcome Mark........will you introduce us to the Co when you're more comfortable here. The more the merrier

+1 on Pinnacles post. Practise..........and have fun, but be safe at all times. Try to make it to a steel shoot,
(see thread in training) lots of fun, I threw my 16 year old son in at the deep end, and now it's a family thing.

As for the carry..........think of the things you carry when you leave the house. Keys, wallet, maybe a pocket knife, loose change, cell phone now add holster, carry firearm, magazine or two. It becomes one of those things that just happen,........... safety first, never be complacent.

Take the wife shooting, let her be comfortable with a firearm. Understand, 99% of the folks out there are not looking at you when you're carrying. It might feel that way, but it's not happening.
Enjoy and remember, there are no stupid questions............the answers on the other hand

[GregM]

Welcome to the forum. It's a great place to hang out.

Carrying a gun on my hip that first day felt wierd, and it still feels wierd. It's physically uncomfortable and mentally distracting. Which I think is a good thing.

As for your wife's fears, I have one small piece of advice: The greater part of fear is ignorance, and she may be afraid because she has no idea what "self defense" really means. She may think you're gonna whip that thing out if somebody just looks at you wrong. Or she may think that the gun acts as a magnet for trouble. Talk about these fears and defuse them.

ALSO: Sit down with her and figure out what each of you will do if the spaghetti hits the fan. In the home, on the street, in a McDonald's, one bad guy or a gang --- whatever life-threatening scenario might present itself, you need to have some plans.

If I'm alone, it means using the gun ONLY if I cannot get away. If I'm with unarmed friends, it means covering their backs while they get away (not a pleasant thought, but that's the way it goes).

[David]

I don't understand why people have this concept of everyone will know or why they care. I'm legal and if people have a problem they are free to complain.

Me too. I don't carry very often, but when I do, I really couldn't care less if anyone notices.

[1911fan]

Its just the perception, like the first time you went out in public with a tattoo, or a woman with her engagement ring, They all feel EVERYBODY"s looking.