A bit of a Curfuffle...

[SSBotanyBay]

In my case, because I am a sportsman there are guns in the house. It was only responsible of me for my wife to know how to safely handle and operate them. That instruction and conversation broke down some barriers and we set out to find a .22 to introduce her into what happens when a weapon is fired, how you do it, etc. Then when we were looking for a suitable firearm she, read SHE, found one that she liked. It was then and is now her gun. Going to the range became a date night for us and a shared hobby. She now owns a tricked out .22, an SR22 handgun, and rocks a custom 12 gauge for shooting trap.

While I certainly sympathize with those of you who are having issues with wives who want to see your hobby go away for good, manipulation and secrecy is not the way to go. Stop and ask yourself what is really more important to you: your sidearm or your wife. Enter into a conversation about it; talk about what scares her or makes her feel so strongly in opposition to the sport and equipment that you love. Communication is key. Listen without interrupting. Hear her out and seek to calm those worries and fears. My wife didn't so much as want to touch a gun before we sat down to talk about them, and her, and me, and us.

I have counseled more than a few couples in marriage and pre-marital counseling and communication is the key to make that relationship work. Just my personal and professional .02.

[Sammichman]

Evidently your New Wife has too much idle time on her hands,,,I think the proper thing to do is give her some chores to fill up her day,,,I would suggest
1,,have her paint the House
2,,Wax your Car
3,,wax her Car
4,,Change the oil on your car
5,,Mow the lawn
6,,straighten out the garage and Attic,
Of course thats only my opinion I could be wrong

[goalie]

Trying to use logic to convince a woman you sleep with ANYTHING is a losing proposition.

Do what you have to do. Deal with the consequences.

Sent from my SCH-I510 using Tapatalk 2

[GunGoogler]

Evidently your New Wife has too much idle time on her hands,,,I think the proper thing to do is give her some chores to fill up her day,,,I would suggest
1,,have her paint the House
2,,Wax your Car
3,,wax her Car
4,,Change the oil on your car
5,,Mow the lawn
6,,straighten out the garage and Attic,
Of course thats only my opinion I could be wrong

Oh Jebus. Please wear a helmet when you provide the list. You're going to need it.

[XDM45]

There's some increased crime in my area, gang violence, and a women's prison (with the prison being almost a complete non-issue)......so a few months ago in Feb 2012, I bought my first 2 guns after my wife told me she was scared and wanted protection since there were home invasions by drug-addicted criminals while the homeowners were occupying the house.

So I purchased to guns..... one primarily for practices, the other for self-defense. (Yes, I do practice with both, but the 22 is cheaper to shoot than the 45 is. New ammo is expensive and I don't reload.)

Since I haven't shot in 25 years, and even then, it was rarely shooting since I never owned a gun until recently.... I waited until April when my basic pistol class was available from the place I wanted to get it at. After the class, I started shooting pretty heavily (for me at least) going through 3,500 rounds through the 45 and 3500 through the 22 from April until August 2012 for the purpose of general practice in safety, shooting, handling my guns, and also preparing for my PTC (which I recently passed and am now waiting the 30 days for the card. I won't have any problem getting it.)

So there's the background of the past few months, tons of time and money spent (I figure I've spent $3,500-$4,000 for everything from club membership, range fees, gas, ammo, guns, cleaning supplies, all of it. Not a huge sum of money, but not an amount to just waste either.)

Now that you understand the background of everything thus far, it's come to pass that my wife thought that you can just buy a gun and stick it in a drawer and that's it. After seeing all the time and expense, she hates guns and has zero interest in them because it takes money (we're both frugal, but her even more than I am), but more importantly, it takes time away from her. I've offered to take her to the range, but she doesn't want to go. Thinks it will be loud (uhhhh yeah? Ya think??) and won't enjoy it. She;s also disabled and has some pretty major health issues which I won't get into, but going to some long class is pretty much out for her.

I'm still going to the range, just not as much since I still need to practice, but now I can change my focus from one aspect of practice to another now that I'm well-adjusted to my guns, guns in general, and obtained my PTC. Now it's time to fine tune things, practice holster training, learn defensive tactics via reading, practice, and a class or few down the road a bit once she settles down.

All said and done above, I wish I could go shooting every week, but I will have to knock it back to once every 3-4 maybe even 6 weeks unless I want to hear her complain about it. It's more the time away from her than the money, but I think the money too...but not as much as the time is a issue in my being away from her is. As for dry-fire practice, I'll probably have to do that when she sleeping. I don't think I need to practice 24/7 and have guns be all-consuming in my life, but I do think that I need to really stay ramped up for awhile and then taper off. (Some of which I am doing and planned to do anyway as I mentioned about my practice in general shifting)

I'm just not sure how we can agree to disagree on this one.

If I were single, I'd buy a nice AR-15 and have at least 10,000 rounds for each gun I own, but she thinks 1,000 rounds is "preparing for a war"; but yeah, me having as much ammo as I want and a rifle, that's not going to go over at all. I' not a gun nut, don't need to be a collector of them, etc.... I just want to be able to practice, have my two pistols, more than enough ammo, and carry -- all for the purpose of defending myself and my family by stopping the threat if that threat is against my or my family's lives.

Is that so wrong? Am I out of line> What do you suggest?

[Kokeba07]

my first suggestion would be not stealing somebody elses thread.

[XDM45]

my first suggestion would be not stealing somebody elses thread.

I was just commenting and sharing my own perspective, not trying to steal it. Relax.

[Kokeba07]

i was relaxed hence the . not a or . suppose i could have put a ,or a to cement it. Plus i said i had a Curfuffle. What you explained sounds like a foofara...(sorry to anyone who doesnt listen to KFAN)

[cigartim]

Carrying has been the cause of some friction in my relationship with my girlfriend as well. She grew up around guns, has gone shooting with me, and even has her PTC, although she has never used it. She is not opposed to carrying altogether, but doesn't see the need to carry every day and has an irrational fear of carrying around kids. She thinks that it would be possible for a child to take my pistola off of me without my noticing. I tried to explain why that is not realistic, but that just turned a difference of opinion into an argument. I realized that I was hurting my cause by entrenching her in her position. She was becoming less likely to change her mind because she didn't want to be wrong. I decided to drop the issue and hope she would come around. Since then she has seemed to become more comfortable with me carrying everywhere. Now, she rarely offers any reaction when she feels a gun on my hip. She also got to test her theory that I could be easily disarmed by a child. One day, while hugging me, she tried to sneak my gun out of my homemade leather holster. I immediately noticed what she was doing. I just smiled at her while she struggled, and my PF-9 stayed firmly in place. I didn't rub it in, or say "I told you so". I just let it go in hopes that she will continue to become more comfortable over time.

[Kokeba07]

Well she started reading Cornered Cat as i was walking out the door for work tonight. We have also decided to sign up for the Oct. 9th PTC class through Blue Line Defense. So looking forward to taking the class from Paul or Terry or whoever teaches it but those are the only two people i have seen on here with the logo.

[Kokeba07]

Thank you to all that recommended the Cornered Cat. The wife and i have been reading it together, and she is really coming around to the idea of carrying, not just having a gun locked up in a safe for home defense.

[Heffay]

Thank you to all that recommended the Cornered Cat. The wife and i have been reading it together, and she is really coming around to the idea of carrying, not just having a gun locked up in a safe for home defense.

I can't wait until this turns around into a "Well, I read your book, now put your guns in the safe like I asked you too" situation.

[Kokeba07]

Well as many like to say on here Concealed is concealed

[connsolo]

Just do as she's comfortable with. Carry around the house. She'll get used to it and after a while it won't be such a big deal.