I would appreciate a female perspective.

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Re: I would appreciate a female perspective.

Postby sawgrass on Sat Mar 10, 2012 10:35 pm

Teresa is spot on. Everything is what it is and we all base our opinions upon our own personal experiences.
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Re: I would appreciate a female perspective.

Postby timwarner on Sun Mar 11, 2012 8:03 am

My mom was kinda scared of guns, and I convinced her to take an introductory course at Bills, After that she debated getting her permit and a kimber CDP.
In the end she didn't get either, but she is at least comfortable around firearms now that she has some understanding.

I'll see if I can get the wife to chime in on this thread. She may have some insight, going from a home with a couple guns for hunting, to... well... my house.
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Re: I would appreciate a female perspective.

Postby Irish.40 on Sun Mar 11, 2012 8:17 am

Thanks to all of you for the advice. I did take her to the indoor range in Burnsville. At first she was real jumpy, but within an hour or so she seemed to calm down. There was a guy 4 lanes down shooting a Desert Eagle. I have told her about all the support and offers on this forum and she is very interested in learning. I think most of her interest is because she knows how much I want my carry permit. She just isn't comfortable with it yet. I am willing to wait honestly, but it is reassuring that she is willing to learn and gain more experience. Thanks again!
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Re: I would appreciate a female perspective.

Postby Countryfried Frank on Sun Mar 11, 2012 9:19 am

It took three things to get Mrs. C. into handguns. Time, patience and one round of .45ACP through my 1911. The first two are most important. Don't push, just offer when appropriate and accept a 'no' graciously.
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Re: I would appreciate a female perspective.

Postby tman on Sun Mar 11, 2012 10:01 am

Mrs. tman065 took a women-only firearms safety class. She ended up with her Hunter's Safety Certificate. She'd been afraid of the guns I'd had in the house for years. The learning environment is extremely important. I can't emphasize that enough.

Now she deer hunts and occasionally carries. :D
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Re: I would appreciate a female perspective.

Postby Comet on Sun Mar 11, 2012 6:07 pm

Some people are afraid of horses, so it wouldn't make sense to force them to ride one. Some people have a fear of snakes but you wouldn't make them hold one. My suggestion is to talk to your wife and find out what ALL the issuses are. There is more to this than just a few paragraphs stated on this forum. Best of luck.
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Re: Re: I would appreciate a female perspective.

Postby Irish.40 on Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:16 am

Comet wrote:Some people are afraid of horses, so it wouldn't make sense to force them to ride one. Some people have a fear of snakes but you wouldn't make them hold one. My suggestion is to talk to your wife and find out what ALL the issuses are. There is more to this than just a few paragraphs stated on this forum. Best of luck.


Of course I wouldn't force anyone to do something they are scared to do. She is willing to learn about guns. She has stated that what scares her is my carrying. Her fear is that the presence of a concealed gun will bring trouble to us. I think its irrational, but am willing to give her time to get used to the idea before I start carrying. I get a little frustrated though when someone else's fear keeps me from doing something to protect my family.

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Re: I would appreciate a female perspective.

Postby Stradawhovious on Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:43 am

IANAW either, but after sitting in/"helping" out with a Women On Target clinic at Oakdale, (If they are still doing it) I think (based on what I've read)that might be a VERY good environment for your wife. Very secure, staffed by men and women that are understanding of folks that don't have much experience with firearms, and she would have as much or as little envolvement as she wanted.

This is a one(ish) hour of classroom safety and orientation with show and tell followed by range time with the most popular firearms. (Generic rifle, generic pistol and shooting clay with shotguns) .

Again, IANAW, I will see if my Wife will stop here in and offer some insight.
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Re: Re: I would appreciate a female perspective.

Postby Heffay on Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:14 am

Irish.40 wrote: I get a little frustrated though when someone else's fear keeps me from doing something to protect my family.


I'm sure you're smart enough not to say that to her, right? ;)

Having someone else talk to her about it first will be far more effective than trying to teach her yourself. 2 things husbands should never teach their wives: how to shoot,and how to play golf.
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Re: I would appreciate a female perspective.

Postby Tickledpink on Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:45 am

I understand where your wife is coming from. I am 32 years old and the first time I touched a gun was 3 years ago. I can't say that I was scared of them but I was pretty leary of them. No one wants to believe that we really need them.

I think that pushing her into anything right now would be a bad idea, if she is anything like me, the more you push the harder she digs her heels in and won't budge. From what I understand your main goal is just to have her comfortable with the guns so that you can have one in the house, I think you need to drop the subject and when her defenses aren't up you can ease her back into it. Taking her to a range would probably take you backwards in your goal.

I also think that Women on Target might be a bad idea. She needs to come to it on her own, let her own interests peak. There is a chance that she might never want to shoot, I know plenty of woman who's husband shoot, but the wives have no desire to pick up a gun. I enjoy shooting but I am no where as interested in it as Strad and I don't know that I ever will be.

This is just my .02, I would be more than happy to talk to her and settle fears if she would like to. I will promise not to push her and only to listen and answer questions.
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Re: I would appreciate a female perspective.

Postby ali_squidz on Mon Mar 12, 2012 5:33 pm

so.....
heres my take. its well... worth absolutely nothing but i have boobs so i get to offer it in here. please dont take offense to any of this.
sounds like your dear wifey has some anxiety issues. not sure if its the gun or the talks you had with her prior to you bringing it home to justify your want for one. it could be something else like generalized anxiety disorder or maybe being on edge from life's stresses. i dont think an email was the appropriate method to addressing this issue. it sounds like you guys need to sit down and have a long talk.
whats her background? was she raised around guns? taught they are the root of all evil? what was her initial reaction to you suggesting to get a gun?
did her anxiety start the moment you brought the gun into the house? immediately following the talk? immediately following the range experience? or none of the above? this might give you some insight as to what the real issue is.
dont mean to be condescending at all, i swear, but is your wife ummm.... controlling at all? this could possibly be a way for her to "get her way" so to speak. im not referring to your wife directly. hell, i dont know her at all. but i do know women and i know there are some crazy ones out there who would use tactics like this to get their way.
sooooooo............... that being said, i used to be jumpy like she is around guns. HOWEVER.... that was because my ex had severe ptsd and would draw down on anything that moved including me. if her fear is ligit, then i really sympathize with her. i had grown up with guns my whole life but well.... never really had a nut job behind the trigger so they never caused me any anxiety.
how guns were intruduced to me, and which may work great for this situation, is to sit down at the dining room table and clean it together. show her how it comes apart. show her safety tips and proper handling. do that a few times before you take her to the range. the range can give people some serious heightened anxiety. showing her that it's literally a bunch of parts that fit together, not a bomb waiting to go off by itself can make a huge difference. it will get her comfortable handling the gun and give her time in a relaxed and controlled environment to get the "mystery" out of it.
when I was a kid, my parents would go to the range every week. i never got to shoot. they made me clean their guns over and over and over again at the kitchen table while they watched. this ensured that the mystery was gone, i wouldnt play with them because i associated them with a chore and i always learned to handle them safely and correctly. its a low stress environment and i think it would really help her out a lot.
i would be more than happy to take her out and show her some proper shooting tips and safety stuff but i think she needs a little more comofrt before she starts introducing strangers into the mix.
take my thoughts with a grain of salt. best of luck!
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Re: I would appreciate a female perspective.

Postby Irish.40 on Mon Mar 12, 2012 6:40 pm

ali_squidz wrote:so.....
heres my take. its well... worth absolutely nothing but i have boobs so i get to offer it in here. please dont take offense to any of this.
sounds like your dear wifey has some anxiety issues. not sure if its the gun or the talks you had with her prior to you bringing it home to justify your want for one. it could be something else like generalized anxiety disorder or maybe being on edge from life's stresses. i dont think an email was the appropriate method to addressing this issue. it sounds like you guys need to sit down and have a long talk.
whats her background? was she raised around guns? taught they are the root of all evil? what was her initial reaction to you suggesting to get a gun?
did her anxiety start the moment you brought the gun into the house? immediately following the talk? immediately following the range experience? or none of the above? this might give you some insight as to what the real issue is.
dont mean to be condescending at all, i swear, but is your wife ummm.... controlling at all? this could possibly be a way for her to "get her way" so to speak. im not referring to your wife directly. hell, i dont know her at all. but i do know women and i know there are some crazy ones out there who would use tactics like this to get their way.
sooooooo............... that being said, i used to be jumpy like she is around guns. HOWEVER.... that was because my ex had severe ptsd and would draw down on anything that moved including me. if her fear is ligit, then i really sympathize with her. i had grown up with guns my whole life but well.... never really had a nut job behind the trigger so they never caused me any anxiety.
how guns were intruduced to me, and which may work great for this situation, is to sit down at the dining room table and clean it together. show her how it comes apart. show her safety tips and proper handling. do that a few times before you take her to the range. the range can give people some serious heightened anxiety. showing her that it's literally a bunch of parts that fit together, not a bomb waiting to go off by itself can make a huge difference. it will get her comfortable handling the gun and give her time in a relaxed and controlled environment to get the "mystery" out of it.
when I was a kid, my parents would go to the range every week. i never got to shoot. they made me clean their guns over and over and over again at the kitchen table while they watched. this ensured that the mystery was gone, i wouldnt play with them because i associated them with a chore and i always learned to handle them safely and correctly. its a low stress environment and i think it would really help her out a lot.
i would be more than happy to take her out and show her some proper shooting tips and safety stuff but i think she needs a little more comofrt before she starts introducing strangers into the mix.
take my thoughts with a grain of salt. best of luck!



Well, I first started talking about wanting a gun 10 years ago. She said then that if I brought a gun into the house she would leave me. Fast forward to 2 months ago when I read a article on the "Castle Doctrine". She said "If that passes then you can get a gun." Well, as we all know, versions of the "castle doctrine" had already passed. I bought the gun a few weeks ago. She immediately started saying things like, ok now you have it, dont forget about me. She admits to being very self conscious. I wouldnt call her controlling but not self confident. Ok, enough of the psycho babble. She has admitted to being ok with me carrying in the North woods. That way if an animal attacked I could defend us. My response was, well if the north woods are so dangerous then we should stop going there. She did get my point. Which was, ya never know when trouble will come up. And we can't stop going places just because I am suddenly able to protect us. Again, I dont understand her view point. She has taken interest in going to the range with a female that knows what she is doing. There are alot of things going on at home right now which doesnt help. But still, I want my carry permit. :cry: Anyway, its been 10 years so maybe another wont kill me...
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Re: Re: I would appreciate a female perspective.

Postby Irish.40 on Mon Mar 12, 2012 6:41 pm

Heffay wrote:
Irish.40 wrote: I get a little frustrated though when someone else's fear keeps me from doing something to protect my family.


I'm sure you're smart enough not to say that to her, right? ;)

Having someone else talk to her about it first will be far more effective than trying to teach her yourself. 2 things husbands should never teach their wives: how to shoot,and how to play golf.


Your confidence is well placed. I have learned a few tricks over the years. :twisted:
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Re: I would appreciate a female perspective.

Postby ali_squidz on Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:27 pm

Irish.40 wrote:
Well, I first started talking about wanting a gun 10 years ago. She said then that if I brought a gun into the house she would leave me. Fast forward to 2 months ago when I read a article on the "Castle Doctrine". She said "If that passes then you can get a gun." Well, as we all know, versions of the "castle doctrine" had already passed. I bought the gun a few weeks ago. She immediately started saying things like, ok now you have it, dont forget about me. She admits to being very self conscious. I wouldnt call her controlling but not self confident. Ok, enough of the psycho babble. She has admitted to being ok with me carrying in the North woods. That way if an animal attacked I could defend us. My response was, well if the north woods are so dangerous then we should stop going there. She did get my point. Which was, ya never know when trouble will come up. And we can't stop going places just because I am suddenly able to protect us. Again, I dont understand her view point. She has taken interest in going to the range with a female that knows what she is doing. There are alot of things going on at home right now which doesnt help. But still, I want my carry permit. :cry: Anyway, its been 10 years so maybe another wont kill me...



apparently the right to bear arms does not include the home? BUWAHAHHAHA!! Im sorry dude. I hate to laugh at your situation. thats too bad. I really feel bad for you. I guess I am pig headed and if there's something I want/want to do, I just do it. I cant imagine wanting something as simple as a gun for 10 years and not getting it. I suppose that's why my house is empty aside from a cat currently giving herself a bath on my lap. *cue crazy cat lady music*
Comet (on here) and I would gladly take her to the range. I believe Comet has some smaller rigs that might be more suited but she's welcome to shoot my xd9 and xd45.


shhhh....
......get your permit. she doesnt have to know..........
did I say that outloud?
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Re: I would appreciate a female perspective.

Postby Sherry on Mon Mar 12, 2012 8:31 pm

Bringing her to a carry class is a good idea, and get her handling it too so she understands what it is and how it works. Beyond that, get her some xanex and a 40oz.
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